My mind works in numbers and patterns.

Haley Joel Osment saw dead people.    I see graphs and beta-weights.

It’s a sad, pitiful life.

But it’s all mine.  And I plan to keep it.

Anyways…

31,625,000.00

That’s a big number, so big that it is actually made up of 10 “littler” numbers all put together with two commas and a period.

Here is another number…  $.33/second.  Thirty-three cents a second.  Every second. Every minute.  Every hour.  Every day.  Every week.  Every month… for the last thirty-six months.

That is the amount of money one of my clients has saved in turnover costs since we started working together nearly three and a half years ago.

In the time it takes you to read this sentence, my client has saved another buck.

That’s sweet.

And it’s real money.

Real money that has been plowed back into training.

Real money that has been used in bringing new products to the market.

Real money that has positively impacted their EBITDA, bottom line financials, and stock price.

Real money that is no longer wasted on a turnover rate that was over one-hundred percent when I started working with them and has just broken the fifty percent barrier.

“Real money” is an “early omen” of future success (yes, it is Anagram Monday!).

WATCH OUT….  there goes another 99 cent savings!

…. Are you living your dreams??

I got something in the mail yesterday to get me out of my birthday doldrums.

attract motivate retain

Music to my eyes.

In small letters on a postcard no-less.

Those three words are an integral part of the title of my first book: Workforce Engagement; Strategies to attract, motivate and retain talent.  Even more exciting, especially to the scores of people who read the first one, the second edition of this book just came out.

Yea, I said Scores

But to be honest, those three words aren’t mine, they are the property of my publisher, World at Work.   My company’s words, although similar (and “mine” from a legal standpoint) go like this: Recruit, Retrain, Reward, Retain.

I came up with that little ditty while waiting for a Po’ Boy  at Mother’s Restaurant in New Orleans with my friend Keith a number of years ago.  There was a conference we were both at, and the allure of Mother’s is like nothing I have ever felt.  Keith and I were waiting outside to get into the building, talking about my potential new business, and trying to come up with a witty slogan.

I’m all about witty slogans and feckless banter.

Anyways…

We were talking about the work I wanted to do on behalf of my (imaginary) clients, and after a while of waiting in line and talking, The Four R’s of Workforce Engagement came into being, with an assist from a billboard located across the street that used similar alliteration for gambling addiction.

Go figure.

Lots of time with lawyers, lots of money with lawyers, and there you go.  From Mother’s to Marc’s in just a few easy, terribly expensive steps.

So I look again at the postcard.

What is it?

attract motivate retain

What is it?

small letters, just like the first book.

What is it?

I turn it over, excited about the possibilities.

What is it?

2009 law department benchmarking survey

Ugh.

I wonder if those fine folks know what that little copyright character means.

Now that idea is something to get me out of my doldrums.  I’m feelin’ a little snarky.  The snarkiness is warm, I can feel it coarsing through my veins.  It feels good.  Almost too good.  Nearly addictive.

Like the Po’ Boys at Mothers in New Orleans.

Some things make you want to stay.

Food on a stick.

Chicken on a stick.  Meat on a stick (I think it was beef).  A corn-dog on a stick.  Assorted fruit on a stick.  Even little tiny tomatoes on a stick.

Oh, and of course, the dipping sauces.  Something red.  Something yellow.  Something red with pieces of something yellow in it.  Something orange (Velveeta?).  Something shiny and brown that I believe was “sweet and sour”.

It was a potpourri of protein and sugar.  Perfect for lunch while the snow was lightly falling outside.

Yes - SNOW.

It’s been a whirlwind for me these last two months, lots of cities, lots of speeches, lots of business cards, lots of bags of little tiny pretzels from my friends at Delta.  Amazingly, no missed planes, no lost luggage, and no cold or flu from coughing airline companions.

And yesterday, an opening keynote to 550 human resource professionals - video-taped for your viewing and listening player (coming to an I-Pod near you).

As I was getting set-up for my 8:00 a.m. speech, I made sure I said “hello” to the early arrivers, kibitzing with them about where they were sitting, their incessant need to use their blackberry, even what they were eating for breakfast.

A well-dressed gentleman came in and sat down at “my table”, the table up front with the worst view of the screen.  I call it “my table”, ’cause it’s where I put all my stuff for the speech, the decks of cards and the fabulous prizes worth dozens of pennies.  It was also the table closest to the door.

In my best snarkiness (especially good at 7.15 a.m. CST) I said “I often wonder about people who sit closest to the door, I figure those are the ones that haven’t decided if I will be any good, and want a good exit strategy”.

Mayor Ardell F Brede laughed.

Yea, the Mayor of Rochester, MN.

I am nothing, if not smooth.

The Mayor gave an opening address, received the applause from his voters, and then gave the floor to me.

It was a fun day, one that again reaffirms my desire to do this for a living.   And yes, I’m living my dreams…

Anyways…

Two studies showed up on my electronic doorstep today, together they paint an interesting picture of the current war for talent.

According to a survey of 2000 employers by Manpower, the ten hardest jobs to fill are as follows:

1. Engineers
2. Nurses
3. Skilled/manual trades
4. Teachers
5. Sales representatives
6. Technicians
7. Drivers
8. Information Technology staff
9. Laborers
10. Machinists/machine operators

As I have been saying for over a decade, although much of the attention goes to the “white collar” jobs (1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 8), nearly half of these jobs are blue collar/manufacturing jobs.  Even as these workers are being cut out of our economy, stuff still gets made here in the states, and then has to be driven to wherever they are going to get sold.

According to Salary.com, 53% of today’s companies have frozen wages, 52% are conducting layoffs, and 78% are modifying their h.r. policies.  Worst data-point;  the average merit increases given this year are 1.5-2%.  Assuming that the worst performer receives .5% and the top performer maxes out at 2%, the difference in wages for the best and worst performers is $750 per year for the average worker.

How long do you think a hi-po (high performer) will want to continue giving 121% discretionary effort when all they can do with the differential in pay is buy a latte at Starbucks?

I’m off to Minnesota on Sunday to give the opening keynote address at the MN State SHRM conference, and then to Wisconsin for a three hour pre-conference workshop and two break-out sessions.

Life is good! And since I haven’t asked in a while… Are you living your dreams?

Anyways…

For nearly twenty years I have talked about the importance of human resource as business experts.  Not experts about bricks and mortar,  not marketing or product development guru’s, but professionals that understand how to manage their company’s assets with feet.

For nearly twenty years I have coached h.r. folks on how to talk to their colleagues using Metrics that Matter, financial linkages to human resource initiatives that explain the bottom line impact of employee satisfaction, employee loyalty, and workforce engagement.

For nearly twenty years I have drawn the linkage between employee satisfaction, customer loyalty, and bottom line results, whether looking at revenue per headcount, EBITDA, change in stock price over time, share of market, and share of wallet.

For nearly twenty years I have talked about the dual benefits of Deontology and Teleology;  “duty based ethics” that encourages you to do the right thing because it is the right thing to do, and doing the right things because they work.

For nearly twenty years… wow, that’s a lot of years.

Anyways…

So, I’m in the middle of speech season,  and I begin to hear whispers.

TV commentators are talking about the need for human resources to “get involved” with the situation.  Human resources is being called “important” on TV, the radio, and in the newspaper.  Problem solvers need to be involved.

OMG.  Finally.  After years and years, HR is finally getting its due, we’re now business people, ready to help pull companies out of their economic slump.  We are finally seen as a group that can help improve the cost and revenue side of the business.  We’re going to get a seat at the board table, maybe even near the middle where all the action is. Our colleagues will better understand our impact on turnover,

And then I heard it.

We get to help David Letterman in his current sex scandal.

Wonderful.  More clean-up of other people’s messes… so to speak.

It’s tough always being called on to be reactive.  Perhaps if we were allowed to be proactive, we could have counseled him to keep his Worldwide Pants up, and not down at his ankles.

Another day that proves to me that the profession I chose is the right one.

Another day that reinforces that H.R. people love to buy books, especially those with the author’s name written in indelible ink on the inside cover.

Another night to see H.R. folks drink some wine, and “shake their groove thing” as the party band plays “Brick House” (and yes, the plethora of dances I attended when I was 13 still serve me well).

Some days everything just “clicks”.

In my previous blog I wrote about the three-hour opening conference workshop that I conducted Sunday morning for about 130 human resource professionals. I might not have mentioned that the event organizer neglected to inform me that the conference wasn’t at the Hilton Oceanfront hotel we were staying at, but at the Convention Center about 10 minutes away.  Imagine my surprise at 8.15 a.m. when I went down to the front desk to ask about registration and they “pointed towards the Convention Center”.  Whee!

That’s what Xanax is for.

Anyways…

Yesterday’s breakout session was attended by 246 people (22 rows of 11 people, plus a couple of stragglers).  Yes, I’m a researcher.  I count. I tally, I analyze.  I’m quite a fun date.

Even better than the 90 percent increase in the number of attendees from the previous session (OK, 89.2%, cut me some slack), many of those that listened to me talk about the importance of supervisors as Engagement Agents  were “returnees”, coming to hear me a second time after the fun and frivolity we had on Sunday.

And this time some of them brought their friends.

75 minutes of Drizin Talk Time, 46 slides, finished on time, no catastrophes with the lavaliere (a wireless mike for you non-speakers), no slides with mysteriously missing text, nobody texting on their blackberry during the WHOLE presentation.

Everything clicked.  Even the new opening story I used in the speech went off without a hitch.

As I was walking down to my book signing, one of the returnees asked me about a problem their company was having with an under-performing supervisor.  After repeated training and re-training, this associate was just not “getting it” (uh oh).  They were a “lifer”, someone that had been with the company for more than seven years (they opened their doors for business in 2000).  Although the employee performed satisfactorily during most of their tenure, the last 16 months were a struggle… on both sides.

“So, we’ve talked to the employee, provided additional training and development opportunities, discussed options of other jobs and positions in the company, even sent the employee to an EAP (employee assistance program) to see if there were some outside issues that were affecting her performance.  They were even talking about hiring a coach.

“What do you do with your superstar employees, your A players, the people you count on most?” I love asking leading questions; remember I was captain of my varsity debate team in high school.

“I’m not sure we have a process on dealing with our best employees”.

(Sometimes it’s like shootin’ fish in a barrel)…

“So, you spend big resources trying to figure out why somebody who has been with you for seven years is no longer performing in her job.  You’ve spent time and money on additional training.  You’ve had meetings within HR and with other company leaders on options available for this under-performing employee.  For the last sixteen months you have been dissatisfied with her performance and she has been dissatisfied with your company as an employer.  Yet you don’t even give a thought about the employees you count on most.”

(I continued, I was on a roll).

“I appreciate the fact that you are loyal to this long term employee, that you want to do whatever you can to make the situation better.  But sometimes you just have to let go.  And in an era where everyone is fighting for smaller and smaller pieces of a smaller and smaller pie, you have to be smart with where you spend your money and attention.”

“Can the under-performer, and call me about setting up a process for your superstars.” (I might not have said “can”).

And although my book-store friend Vince gets mad at me when I do this, I gave her one of my own copies of my second book, Employee Engagement Fundamentals, a Guide for Managers and Supervisors. 

She needs it more than I do.  As does her company, her “brick house”.

But that shouldn’t take me from writing my blog, and for that, lots of apologies.

I’m here in Virginia Beach, looking out onto the ocean.  Hypnotic really.  The waves hitting the surf, the wind whipping around us here on the seventeenth floor, the sound of navy jets piercing the sky, seagulls screeching, children laughing.  And those waves.  That it’s 83 degrees and sunny today helps too!

Yea, I like it here.

The fact that the Virginia State SHRM council was nice enough to bring me out here  for an opening three hour workshop and breakout session as well as scorin’ me an oceanfront room at the Hilton doesn’t hurt either.

I had about 130 folks for my breakout session yesterday, we played my Employee Hold’em card game, spoke on the importance of Hi-Po’s to an organization and talked about Metrics that Matter, it was a good group, and a nice way to spend a Sunday morning.

One of the attendees asked me what to do about a “long-term very caustic manager” in her four-hundred employee company who was fairly well insulated from any company action or discipline.  I asked her why he wasn’t being talked to by his boss or coached by somebody from H.R.  She was very hesitant to answer, so I pushed a little harder.

“Who is he married to?” I asked. OK, I might not have used the word “married”, I’ve got David Letterman on my mind.

She turned white as a sheet.

Eek, guess I hit the nail on the head with that one.

“He is married to our EVP of Marketing” she said, “and we’re afraid if we take the necessary action on him, we can wind up losing her”.  OK, she might not have used the word “married” either.

Ouch.  Nasty nasty stuff.

She asked my opinion on what the company should do.  Bad move on her part.

“Fire him and start looking for a replacement to her.”  I didn’t even need to think about it.

See, the real problem isn’t that the company is letting a misbehaving manager get away with stuff.  It isn’t that the threat of losing “two-for-one” has given them management paralysis.   The real problem is that 398 other employees have seen the company DO NOTHING year after year after year as it relates to a manager who is clearly unable or unwilling to do his or her job.

Nasty nasty stuff.

She asked if I would be willing to talk to her boss about the situation, and I told her I would be happy to.  We’re talking on Thursday, I’ll let you know what happened.  Confidentially, of course!

… the sound of the waves hitting the sand.  Magical.  I’m going to miss Virginia Beach.  I wonder if they have sand in Minnesota.

More tomorrow!

8,760

365.

The number of seconds, the number of minutes, the number of hours.

The number of days since my father died.

The number of days I’ve been out of the sandwich generation.

The number of days I haven’t received a frantic phone call about my father falling, feeling ill, being rushed to the hospital.

The number of days I haven’t had to fight with insurance companies, the VA, the nursing home.

The number of days since I had to drive two hours each way to pick up some water, some pop, or denture adhesive.

The number of days since he and I talked about his wife of over 45 years, my mom Toby who died a few years earlier.

The number of days since I bought him his big juicy cheeseburger from Red Robin, the place I bought lunch at every two weeks when I drove to see him in Cincinnati.

The number of days since I had to use my Power of Attorney and Health-care Power of Attorney to make decisions that no child should ever have to make.

The number of days since I heard him laugh.

The number of days since I saw him cry.

The number of days since he asked me if I was “living my dreams”, and changed my life.

I know my folks are watching over me, laughing at my jokes, crying over my pain, prodding me when I feel low, congratulating me on my third book and two new businesses.  I know they are proud of me, my brother, and our families.

And I miss them both every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month.  I smile more these days when I think about them, the tears are fewer, the feeling of loss lessens over time.

And now, when I hear my dad ask me that life-changing question, I know that both of my folks know the answer…  I am now.

Perhaps there is no greater gift that a parent can give to a child.  Even when the child is 46 years old.

First and foremost, for those of you who were nice enough to tell me that my blog-site was down, thank you!  For my friends at dreamhost, PLEASE SEND AN EMAIL WHEN MY AUTO-PAY FEATURE DOESN’T GO THROUGH!!!!

Anyways…

Dream a Little Dream with Me

I’m spending my last day in Pittsburgh doing additional work with the company that brought me here to do my “Dream Stuff” with their client.  A high-tech company of around 100 or so employees, thirty-five went through my Dream Session.

I’m still getting used to the looks on the faces of people I work with when they learn that I am a dream manager.  Nervous smiles, laughter, an occasional “what the heck”.  At the PIHRA conference in Palm Springs last week, I was “The Dream Guy”, a lot of people were interested and intrigued at the idea of having their own dream manager.

And here is the interesting part.  Although nearly everyone I spoke to agreed they would like to have a Dream Manager to help them in their dreams, there is still a disconnect in how this same approach would help their employees, and ultimately their company.

Welcome to my world.

As I have said before, it’s all about metrics.

Doing the right thing for employees is the right thing to do. And in a perfect world, that would be enough.  But other than a Corned Beef and Swiss on Rye with Spicy Mustard from Shapiro’s, nothing in life is really perfect.

Employees who feel that their organization cares about them for the long term work harder, stay longer, and recommend their organization as a great place to work.  Helping employees get on the path to reduce debt, buy a car, save money for college for their kids, or purchase their first home, isn’t the “job” of business.  Motivating employees to consistently go the extra mile for customers is.

About ninety minutes after the presentation started, sixteen sets of employees were reviewing their dreams with each other, agreeing to be “accountability manager”.  Some dreams were little, some seemed like a BHAG (big hairy audacious goal).  But all of them, no matter how silly or preposterous they may have seemed to others, came from the hearts and thoughts of each of the employees.  And once they knew that as their Dream Manager, I had no agenda, the dreams came pouring out.

Not a bad way to spend a couple of hours!

APQC

Yes, the press release is out, the national benchmark on Attracting, Motivating and Retaining Top Talent in a Post-Recession Environment is moving ahead.  If you are interested in participating in the project (as a sponsor or a “best practices” company), please take a look at the press release and contact Rachele at APQC with any questions!

Pittsburgh’s Slice of Heaven

Yesterday I was treated to lunch in a fun part of Pittsburgh where all of the wholesale food companies have their operations.  Better yet, a bunch of shops surround these international wholesalers, lots of restaurants, bars, and trendy little boutiques.

And then I saw it.  A chocolatier on the corner.  Friendly people inside smiling.  The smell of cocoa rushing outside as another shopper left their store with a happy “blue bag” ‘o chocolate.

I’ve been reading about it for about a year, my son tried it over the summer at the Indiana State Fair.  It’s been on TV, radio, and all over the web.  Chocolate and Bacon.  Bacon and Chocolate.  “Pigs in the mud”.  This little piggy went to Hersheyville…

There it was.  Mo’s Bacon Bar, made of applewood smoked bacon, alderwood smoked salt, and deep milk chocolate (45% cacao).  But wait…  what is that right next to Mo’s Bacon Bar?  OMG.  Mo’s Dark Bacon Bar, made of applewood smoked bacon, alderwood smoked salt, and dark chocolate (62% cacao).  When the first ingredient is chocolate and the second one is uncured bacon, you know you’ve hit a home run.

Wow.  I must admit at first taste, my “buds” were in a state of total confusion.  Smooth chocolate, but with a hint of salt.  Crunchy bits… are they rice krispies?  No… they are BACON.   And then my brain realizes what is going on, rushing endorphins of pleasure over the receptors in my hypothalamus.  “Take another bite Marc”…  but no, I don’t.  I save it.  Ensuring that my enjoyment doesn’t blow away like the first little piggies house of straw.

Life is good!

BTW, are you living your dreams?

I’ve been here in P.S. since Sunday, my second trip to this part of the country.  Other than having the country’s best airport to fly in and out of, it is beautiful out here.  Desert, mountains, and green.  Both figuratively and literally.

Anyways…

I’m here in Palm Springs participating in the 51st PIHRA Conference, the Professionals in HR Association, the largest SHRM chapter in the country with nearly 3,500 members.  I was invited here to conduct a couple of workshops on Monday and Tuesday of this week to some of the six hundred or so attendees.  In addition, I’m “boothin”, talking to suspects, prospects, and clients about the work Employee Hold’em conducts on behalf of our customers.  Here are some of my observations…

Mashed Potato Bar.

Yes, say it with me… Mashed Potato Bar.  That was the Monday night event, and yes, it is exactly what you are thinking, unless you are thinking that somehow this is a drink.   Take four different types of mashed potatoes, and scoop some into a Sundae glass.  Then move down to the “fixin’s” bar and add your toppings; caramelized onions,  bacon, cheese, pesto, brown gravy, wine gravy with shallots and garlic (ok, you know that was my choice).  The more mixin’ and matchin’ the better.  Add six liquor bars located strategically around the hall, and well, you get the picture.  My new friend John Silver from ITT showed me the ins and outs of the MPB, I think he has been to one of these before.  See what I miss in Indy?

Part of the “fun activities” at MPB Night were furnished by a company called Zobmondo, and their card-game “Would you rather…?”.  A simple card game designed to spur discussions among people, especially if they don’t know each other very well.  The questions on the cards are separated into four categories, Pain/Fear/Discomfort, Appearance/Embarrassment, Ethics/Intellect, and Random.  For example:  Would you rather be married to someone who insists that every electric device in your home be controlled by “The Clapper” or that every piece of furniture have plastic covers?  Or… Would you rather have an arm in the place of one of your legs, or a leg in place of one of your arms? (ew!)    We were encouraged to come up with our own questions, and were awarded with a free drink coupon if we had one of the best.  I liked mine a lot.  Would you rather fire one of your parents, or one of your children.  However,  I was at a table of PIHRA Foundation members (John S. is one), and they ganged up against me to “vote” for one of their own.  What some people won’t do for a free beer.  Sigh.

I ran up against a buzz-saw of a topic on Monday, there is one in every conference.  Since I normally keynote, I’m often immune, but not this time.  The room for this particular workshop held one-hundred and fifty folks, four additional tables were brought in to accommodate another thirty people, and another bunch of people stood in the back of the room for two and a half hours! The title of the speech:  Tough conversations to have with your employees, verbal strategies for addressing conduct, performance, and discipline challenges.  As I mentioned in my Hold’em workshop, with California having the lowest workforce engagement of any state (thirty-eight percent of workers were Fully Engaged, thirty-five percent are Unengaged), it’s no wonder that nearly two hundred people were in that presentation.  However, if they came to my session, they learned with organizations need to do avoid these situations in the first place.

Being proactive vs. reactive.  Pretty easy decision from where I stand.

Is it a little ironic that one of the standard “evening events” at almost every Human Resource conference I have ever attended is “Casino Night”?  Human resources, drinking, and gambling.  The perfect trifecta. Since I don’t like to gamble (takes too long to make the money and too little time to lose it), I gave my golden token (worth two-hundred and fifty chips of play money) to John.  He likes to play Craps, and won some cash playing Red.  Chips were turned into tickets which were then used to try to win one of sixty of so prizes.  We won a coffee-mug and an I-tunes card when one of our tickets hit (well, actually John’s ticket, but I like saying “we”).  He and I gifted the mug/I tunes card to Liz, another new friend I met here in P.S.

My speech yesterday was a new one for me, and is based on my upcoming book, Designing Employee Recognition Programs.  Yes, I know, quite the title, huh?  However, the book did allow me to put forth the following opinion.  If eighty percent of a company’s outcomes are the result of the effort of twenty percent of the employees, shouldn’t eighty percent of the rewards and recognition go to these twenty percent “top performers”?  I saw a lot of heads nodding during my presentation, I think I scored a pretty big win.  I received wonderful comments from attendees, and compliments from PIHRA conference organizers.  All part of living my dreams.

And comments on two new services, both of which are growing parts of my business.  I’m a CDM, a Certified Dream Manager.  And I must admit, I love talking to people about what I do to help employees reach their dreams.  I get funny faces and laughs when people see that title (especially when it is paired with my other title, Chief Instigator).  However, once I start explaining the concept, people love the idea.  I think I’ve picked up a handful of clients.

The second new service is one that I am especially proud of, and falls into the area of “Retraining” in my Four R’s of Workforce Engagement (recruit, retrain, reward, and retain).  I’ve been invited to be a faculty member of the organization iLearningGlobal.  An amazing company with some of the best minds, coaches, and experts in the field of professional and personal development, all delivered on-line via HD video.  I’m using it myself (personal development), using it with clients in my role as a business coach, and providing it to employees in organizations as a way of showing their company’s commitment to their own development.  Take a minute and check out the site.  If you’re interested, drop me an email at marc@employeeholdem.com.  We can talk about how you can use this wonderful tool yourself, provide it as a development opportunity for your employees, and how you can monetize your organization, even when it’s not open for business.

Well then, enough said today.  It is just past 4.33 a.m. here in California, as you can tell, I’m still sleeping on “Indy Time”.   I’m gonna take a walk around town, it’s only about eighty degrees, fairly cool for this part of the world.

Have a great day… and one final question:  Are you living your dreams?