… is a feel-good story about the difficulty of attracting and retaining lawyers.  C’mon, it’s the holiday season.  Thanksgiving and all.  Warmth and good wishes and all that stuff. 

OK, one joke.  Who said this?  “A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats”.

Benjamin Franklin.  That’s right.  Now who’s the hater??

 As I was in the airport on Thursday flying back to Indianapolis, I ran across an article titled For Lawyers, Perks to Fit a Lifestyle.  As the chief human resource officer at one of the law firms said “We’re in a war for talent and we have to do everything we can to attract and retain that talent.”

And are you ready for this startling fact?  MONEY ALONE NO LONGER WORKS!  “Money is not the only thing that drives these lawyers right now.  They want to be able to have a family and enjoy their family.  This has never been as hot an issue.”

Lawyers with families? Lawyers may be just like other people? Hold on a sec.  Wow.  

OK, let’s continue. 

One of the folks in the article said “The corporate clients don’t want to be responsible for associate training.  I hear them say all the time, they treat their associates better than I get treated at my company. 

First one first.  Can you think of any goofier thing for clients to say about their law firm?  They don’t want to be responsible for training?  How important is what a person knows or doesn’t know in a law firm?  Anything more important?

And holding it against your vendor because they treat their employees better than you treat yours?  Ouch.  Envy is one of those deadly sins. 

Now, let’s play some math!  The average turnover among associates can be 25% by their third year.  The average spent over three years to recruit, pay and train one associate?  $700,000 (westlegaledcenter.com).  Finding and hiring a replacement can cost another $300,000.

The average 3 year associate makes about $81k in salary and bonuses (payscale.com) while working about 55 hours per week.  They bill out 1,850 hours per year at an average of $250 an hour.  So, each associate is billed out for over $450,000 while their cost is a little over 80 grand.  SWEET.  A net of $370,000 per lawyer. 

In the world of lawyers, clients buy products and services from the law firm, but form relationships with their lawyer.  So, when the lawyer leaves and takes four or five of their clients with them to another firm, they take nearly $2 million in billable dollars.  That’s a bunch of cash.  Makes attraction and retention an important matter, even to law firms.

Too bad, I have a bunch more jokes.